My Top 5: Healing; Finding Self-Worth

Journaling and the Bible

I initially began my journey of healing and self-love in 2016. It all started with a group called Cultivating Purpose (formally known as Made for Purpose), curated by inspirational coach and teacher, Yah Hughes. This journey started with a 14-day ‘loving me’ challenge in February of 2016. This challenge included journaling, reading the Word of God, and finding love songs to sing to myself. I learned quite a bit about my character and how to better love the “younger" version of me. I learned that I didn’t feel worthy of healthy love. Because of this I put everyone’s needs before my own and felt that I was betraying myself when I told someone, “No”.

Years later, I began therapy to address childhood trauma. After about eight sessions, I stopped attending. After a few years, I began therapy again. This time I stayed committed and made it a part of my non-negotiable list. I’ve found five things to be the most helpful and fruitful on my journey to healing and continuous rediscovery of my self-worth.

#1 - Relationship with Christ

Every morning when I get up, I make it a point to thank God for waking me and for showering me with His many blessings. I get the day started by doing my morning routine, then I sit down to pray and read His word. I have been doing the SOAP (Scripture, Observation, Application, and Prayer) method during my study of the Word, which has helped me to better understand what it is that I am reading. Whatever scripture I pick from my reading is what I meditate on throughout the day. Having scripture on my heart helps me to refocus on the positive when negative issues may arise. One of my favorite scriptures is Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”. (NIV)

#2 - Journaling

When something is on my heart, I journal. I purchased this great journal called Confessions of the Heart from Amazon to collect my innermost thoughts and emotions. I find that when I truly confess what is on my heart, I am able to feel my emotions, authentically. Now ya’ll, I used to lie to myself on paper about how I honestly felt about things. I was always afraid that someone would find my journal, and God knows I didn’t want them to know that much about me. Truly confessing my feelings has freed me from so many secrets that only I knew. Once I journaled what was real, I began to care less about if someone found it, read it, and knew it. I discovered that journaling clears my mind from the things that shouldn’t remain there.

"All healing is first a healing of the heart." - Carl Townsend

#3 - Do or eat something I loved as a kid

I have a friend who struggled with anxiety for years. I can remember one day; I was breaking down and couldn’t stop crying. I was completely out of control and scared. I wasn’t sure what to do or how to improve my anxiety. She told me to do something that I loved as a kid or to find my favorite childhood candy, snack, or meal. Her advice annoyed me. I didn’t think it would work. I followed her advice and went to the convenient store and got a pack of Mamba Fruit Chews. The moment I tore the pack open and chewed the raspberry one, my mind drifted back to a sweet moment of childhood. I still cried, but they were tears of relief and not panic. Sometimes it’s good to connect to your inner child. I loved to skate as a kid, so I finally got skates. I haven’t started skating yet, but I’ll update you when I do.

#4 - Mindfulness

II learned this one recently in therapy. The instruction was for me to take 10 minutes and sit in the moment. I wasn’t supposed to think of anything, but the moment. I had to breathe in and think about my feet, the feeling of my breathing, the beating of my heart, and so on. I really thought my therapist was a little off. I tried this mindfulness task and got to one good minute before my mind wandered to something I hadn’t done, or something I wanted to do in the next instant. The sheer fact that I couldn’t complete the task annoyed me. It was during this time that I learned that my mind was racing a million miles a minute and I was never really living in the moment. Much of the anxiety that I used to have simply came from moving on too fast from the present. I can’t even lie, I am not at the point where I can do ten full minutes of this mindfulness exercise, but I can do a strong seven minutes of it. In those seven minutes sometimes I crochet, but I can calm my breathing, regather my thoughts, and really bask in the love that I have for myself.

#5 - Being honest when someone asks me how I am

This was the hardest thing for me to do. I could be on the verge of death, and my response to how I was doing, was “I’m fine.” Saying that I was fine made me feel alone and isolated. I never wanted to be a burden to anyone. What I had to learn was that the friends that truly meant well, deserved to know when I was not fine. They also deserved to reciprocate the love that I poured into them. Answering truthfully gave them the opportunity to be there for me in whatever capacity I needed. Through honesty, I have been able to cry openly, laugh uncontrollably, and share cheesecake and heartfelt thoughts and conversations. Honesty has made me feel loved, normal, and has increased the trust in the friendships that I do have. My friends aren’t fixers, they are listeners, jokesters, and women who love to comfort me with food, Jesus, and quality time.

If you are searching for ways to help yourself heal, and find your self-worth, practice a few of My Top 5’s and see if it helps. We are always better when we strive to learn and improve for ourselves. 

Leave me a comment telling me your Top 5 or tell me which of the 5 listed resonates with you.